Toronto – Page 13 – Tasty Burgers

Hangry Burger

Published on April 24, 2016 by Michael NusairLeave a comment

Location: 435 Yonge Street, Toronto
Website: http://hangryburger.com/

If you’ve ever wondered what the hamburger equivalent of a shrug is, look no further. Hangry Burger now exists to answer that question.

That’s the thing: it’s not a bad burger. There’s nothing offensive about it, and I didn’t dislike eating it. But it’s not particularly good. It’s just… it’s fine (you can’t see me right now, but I’m shrugging pretty hard).

This is going to be a pretty short review, because I honestly don’t have all that much to say about it. It’s hard to muster up all that much enthusiasm to write about a burger that’s so thoroughly middle-of-the-road.

I ordered the Hangry Burger, which is their no-frills choice, and had it topped with Hangry sauce, pickles, and tomato.

The patty had some colour from the griddle, though it was cooked all the way to well done and a bit dry. It was also too finely ground, giving it a mealier texture than I’d like — but I’ve certainly had worse. As for the flavour of the beef? Remember all that shrugging I was doing earlier? Yeah, I’m still doing it.

The toppings were fine, though if the Hangry sauce was anything other than plain mayo, I couldn’t taste it.

The bun, too, was fine, though it was clearly too big and dense for the simple single-patty option — the bun-to-patty ratio was way off. The fact that it was cold and untoasted probably didn’t help.

As for the fries, they looked good, but they were a bit overcooked. They were vaguely bitter, with a borderline burnt flavour.

2.5 out of 4

Cactus Club Cafe

Published on April 10, 2016 by Michael NusairLeave a comment

Location: 77 Adelaide Street West, Toronto
Website: https://www.cactusclubcafe.com/location/first-canadian-place/

Cactus Club Cafe, like Earl’s and Joey before it, is the latest Western Canadian upscale casual chain to make its way to Toronto. A great burger from a chain like this is kind of like Bigfoot — some people claim it exists, but I haven’t seen any compelling evidence myself. But in his (mostly unfavourable) review of this place in the Globe and Mail, Chris Nuttall-Smith singled out the burger as “a wide, deliciously sloppy mess.” Okay. Sold.

There are actually two burgers on the menu — the Feenie Burger, and the Cheddar Bacon burger. As far as I can tell the two burgers are identical, save for the presence of mushrooms on the Feenie. But that burger (created by celebrity chef Rob Feenie) is the one referenced in Nuttall-Smith’s review, so that’s what I ordered.

There’s a ridiculous amount of stuff on the burger. Aside from the aforementioned mushrooms, it’s topped with aged cheddar, smoked bacon, lettuce, tomato, pickles, red relish, mayonnaise, ketchup, and mustard. I’m actually kind of surprised that Feenie wanted to put his name on this burger, because it’s essentially like going to Harvey’s and asking for everything. It might be tasty, but it’s more like a random hodge-podge of stuff than a chef-crafted creation. In particular, the vinegary-sweet combination of the abundant ketchup and mustard are easily the dominant flavours here.

As for the mushrooms that apparently warrant Rob Feenie slapping his name on the burger? There’s so much else going on that I literally couldn’t even tell they were there.

Still, it’s a pretty good hamburger. The patty has a bit of crust from the griddle, and in the rare bites where you get a taste of the beef without too much else getting in the way, it has a pretty decent flavour. It’s also fairly juicy, with a nice coarse grind that hasn’t been overhandled. It makes me a bit sad that it’s completely overwhelmed by the voluminous toppings (Nuttall-Smith called the patty “somewhat irrelevant” in his review, which is apt), but tasty is tasty. Sometimes it’s best not to overthink it.

As for the fries, they were lightly battered, cardboardy, and personality-free. They couldn’t have been more obviously from a bag if they came with a big lighted sign that said “FROM THE FREEZER.”

3 out of 4

Batch

Published on March 27, 2016 by Michael NusairLeave a comment

Location: 75 Victoria Street, Toronto
Website: http://batchtoronto.com/

Batch is shockingly great. It’s a corporate brewpub — it’s owned by Creemore Springs, which is owned by Molson. I don’t think it’s unreasonable to expect the food to be passable at best; something along the lines of chain fare like Kelsey’s or Milestones, with the several beers on tap being the main attraction.

Based on this one visit, at least, that couldn’t be farther from the truth.

The Batch burger is described on the menu as “dry aged beef + cheddar + red onion + ranch mayo.” It’s served by default at medium rare; an immediate point in their favour.

As I cut into the hamburger, I could already see juices on the plate. Another several points.

Yes, it’s an amazing hamburger. As advertised, it came cooked to a perfect medium rare, with an immensely satisfying, deep brown layer of crust from the griddle. And it’s juicy — so, so juicy, to an extent that’s almost four-leaf-clover-rare in a city that’s so dishearteningly crammed with dry, overcooked patties.

Aside from the awe-inspiring juiciness, the texture of the beef is just right. It has a nice coarse grind that hasn’t been overhandled, resulting in a patty that has the perfect amount of tenderness without ever tipping the scales into soft and squishy territory. It’s so good.

The flavour of the patty is also well above average, though this is the one area where the burger stops just shy of greatness. Though it certainly has a nice beefy flavour, it wasn’t quite as pronounced as it could have been. It’s still better than most — but when you’re a straight-A student, that one B+ feels like a failure, even if in any other context, it’s an amazing grade.

The toppings were similarly superb. Though the menu claims that the cheese is cheddar, I’m not so sure; it was either a creamier cheese along the lines of brie, or a higher-class processed white cheddar. Whatever it was, it was mild, creamy, and suited the burger perfectly.

The red onions were soft and griddled; to me, a hamburger and grilled onions are like peanut butter and jelly. Best friends 4 eva.

I was a bit concerned about the ranch mayo, as that dressing has a pretty assertive flavour, but it worked perfectly. It added a nice hit of flavour without getting in the way. The other toppings (lettuce and tomato) were solid, as was the soft, fresh bun.

The fries, sadly, were pretty weak. I came at brunch, so I’m not sure if they were supposed to be some kind of amalgam between french fries and home fries, but they just didn’t particularly work. They were way too thick, slightly chalky in the middle, and just all-around unsatisfying. The funky house-made ketchup helped, but even then, the fries couldn’t even begin to hold a candle to that outstanding burger.

The meal ended on a high note, however. The coconut cream pie — with its rich, custardy flavour and perfect balance of coconut — easily gives the famous Scaramouche pie a run for its money.

3.5 out of 4

The Abbot Pub & Fare

Published on March 13, 2016 by Michael NusairLeave a comment

abbot
Location: 3367 Yonge Street, Toronto
Website: http://theabbot.ca/

I’m not gonna lie: though I have a vague recollection of reading something positive about the burger at the Abbot, I decided to review this place almost entirely because of its proximity to the Rolling Pin, a bakery that specializes in elaborately decadent doughnuts. Two birds, one stone, and all that jazz.

(The doughnuts were great, by the way.)

Though I came at lunch and could have ordered the brunch burger, I went with the standard hamburger, which comes topped with lettuce, tomato, and onion. You can also get optional stuff like cheese or caramelized onions for an extra charge, but I kept it simple.

In the spirit of not beating around the bush, I’ll say that this was not a good hamburger and you should absolutely never order it. But I guess I should elaborate a bit?

It’s a meatloaf burger, and a particularly strong one at that. This isn’t necessarily the worst thing ever, but oh man it was strong. The odour of garlic and spices hit me almost as soon as the plate was set down in front of me. My dining companion could smell it from across the table, which should tell you something.

This, of course, means that the flavour of the beef itself was completely gone, but if that were the burger’s only problem, it wouldn’t necessarily be a deal-breaker.

It wasn’t the burger’s only problem.

Worse was the hamburger’s texture, which despite being grilled and cooked to well done, was a particularly off-putting combination of mushy and stringy. I’ve reviewed mushy burgers before, but this was the worst one yet. By far. It was the stringiness that really got me, with a texture that was soft but refused to get fully chewed, like a trying to eat wet fabric. It was unpleasant enough that I got a bit more than halfway through and had to throw in the towel. It’s not that I couldn’t finish it; I’ve had worse. But I really didn’t want to.

Everything else was fine, though the bottom layer of the bun was weirdly crispy, making the burger harder to eat (and cut in half) than it needed to be.

As for the fries, they were pretty good. They’re nothing anyone is going to lose their minds over, but they were slightly above average.

1 out of 4

Oh Boy! Burger Market

Published on February 28, 2016February 29, 2016 by Michael NusairLeave a comment

Location: 296 Gerrard Street East, Toronto
Website: http://ohboyburger.com/

Sometimes, I wanna put on a tight black T-shirt, bust into the kitchen at a burger joint and pull a Whiplash on the chef. Oh, is this the burger you’re serving me? NOT MY TEMPO. MAKE IT AGAIN.

I just don’t get it. It’s not like we’re talking about some finicky souffle or a complex molecular gastronomy creation that requires years of training and thousands of dollars in equipment — it’s a burger. It doesn’t require much from a chef. You get good quality, reasonably fatty beef, you grind it coarsely, you form it loosely into a patty, and you cook it on a hot surface. Put it on a fresh bun that’s the right size, and you’re good to go. It’s so easy that I really don’t get why every burger isn’t great.

The myriad ways Toronto burger joints manage to mess it up can sometimes make me want to throw my hands in the air, yell out “DONE” to no one in particular, and then become a vegetarian.

Which isn’t to say that the burger at Oh Boy was particularly bad. It was fine. I didn’t dislike eating it. But there are a few frustratingly common mistakes that hold it back from being anything better than “meh” (clearly, there’s a reason why it’s been around for years with so few people even knowing about it. Even I hadn’t heard of it until a few months ago, and I go out of my way to keep up with such things, as you might imagine).

I ordered the classic burger, which comes with two four ounce, griddle-cooked patties, topped to request. I went with pickles, tomatoes, and Oh Boy Roasted Garlic Mayo.

The quality of the beef is obviously pretty good; the patties had a decent beefy flavour that’s fairly subtle, but definitely there. There’s some crust from the griddle (not a lot, but some), which is always good. I also quite enjoyed the roasted garlic mayo, which has a nice pop of garlic flavour without slapping you in the face or overwhelming the beef.

But, like so many other Toronto burger joints, the well done patties are more dry and more tough than they have any right to be, thanks to beef that’s obviously too lean, that’s been too finely ground, and that’s way too tightly packed. It’s a bit of a tough chew.

The bun was bordering on being too soft and insubstantial for the task at hand, but it basically got the job done.

The fries, at least, were great; crisp, but not too crisp, with a creamy interior and a nice potatoey flavour. They were about a million times better than the burger.

2.5 out of 4