Tag: review

The Rhino

Published on by Michael NusairLeave a comment

The RhinoLocation: 1249 Queen Street West, Toronto
Website: http://www.therhino.ca/

My visit to The Rhino was completely unplanned — I was in the area, I wanted to check out a burger, and hey, that place looks like it serves a hamburger.  No recommendations, no research, just a random pop-in.

My dream in situations like this is that the burger will turn out to be amazing, and that I can announce a hidden gem to the world.  I mean, anyone can go and review a place that everyone’s talking about.  Who cares?  Finding a restaurant that people wouldn’t have heard of otherwise — that’s a service to the world.

The Rhino

That absolutely, positively isn’t what happened here, but hey, I can keep dreaming.  One day.

The Rhino burger: “hand-pressed ground beef patty, lettuce, tomato, red onion, pickle, brioche bun. Served with fries or house salad.”

The Rhino

It’s not good.  And it’s not good in such a boring way that I don’t even particularly feel like talking about it.  It’s the usual bad burger trifecta: the beef is too finely ground, it’s packed too tightly, and it’s too lean.  It’s crazy dry.  I normally eat a burger as it comes, but in this case I just couldn’t stomach it.  I had to put on copious amounts of mustard (which I typically find to be way too assertive as a burger topping) just to give it some moisture, and to give the bland, personality-free beef some flavour.

The Rhino

I will say that the medium well patty is perfectly grilled, which gives it a great amount of smoky flavour.  Not enough to save it, of course — but it that element was nice nonetheless.

And the fresh brioche bun was quite good (not that it particularly matters).

The Rhino

As for the fries, they were delicious, with a delicate exterior crispiness and a perfect amount of fluffiness.  They were seasoned with big, flaky grains of salt that added more texture and nice pops of flavour.  They were top notch.

1.5 out of 4

The Wilcox Gastropub

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The Wilcox GastropubLocation: 30 Eglinton Avenue West, Mississauga
Website: https://www.thewilcox.ca/

I’ve certainly had worse burgers than the one they serve at The Wilcox, but it’s rare that I eat one that feels so thoroughly misguided on every level.

The Wilcox Burger: “wilcox chuck, brioche, goat cheese, roast red pepper, crispy onions, tomato, arugula.”

The Wilcox Gastropub

I should start with the patty itself, which has been griddled all the way to well done and then some.  It has a nice crust on its exterior, but the meat is gray and dry and punishing.  It’s the type of burger where you have to be careful not to take big bites, because it’s like trying to eat a pile of saltines — your mouth just can’t produce enough moisture to deal with it.

The Wilcox Gastropub

The flavour is an upgrade over the texture, but it’s not great.  This is a kitchen sink burger where the taste of the beef is basically moot, but in the few bites I got of the patty alone, it wasn’t much to write home about.  The beef is bland but inoffensive.

The Wilcox Gastropub

Then there’s the goat cheese.  I mentioned this in my review of the burger at The Daughter, but you almost never see goat cheese on a cheeseburger, and there’s a reason why.  The intense salty flavour and crumbly texture completely overpower the beef.

All of the other toppings are fine, in theory, but the configuration in which they’re applied here just doesn’t work.  The mix of flavours is discordant and vaguely unpleasant.  They clash.  The whole thing feels wrong in a way that’s hard to put your finger on.  It’s off.

The Wilcox Gastropub

I came at brunch, so instead of fries, the burger comes with potato hash.  The cubes are deep fried, so they basically taste like crispy fries in a slightly different shape.  They’re quite tasty.

1.5 out of 4

The Commoner

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The CommonerLocation: 2067 Dundas Street West, Toronto
Website: https://www.thecommonerrestaurant.ca/

Here’s a classic good news / bad news type of situation.  The good news: The Commoner seems like it’s a quality restaurant.  It’s quite popular, and most of the food they served when I visited was very good.

The bad news: the hamburger.  It’s not great.

The Commoner

The Commoner cheeseburger, as per the menu: “Brioche. Lettuce. Tomato. Pickles. Onion. Provolone. Dijon Mayo.”

Nothing about the burger is awful, but nothing is particularly good, either.

The patty is grilled (I think? It’s got that char flavour that you typically only get from the grill, but it’s possible that it was just enthusiastically griddled), and while it’s cooked all the way to well done, it’s fairly juicy.  But the texture is off — I think the grind is too fine — and it’s a little bit tough.

The Commoner

The flavour of the beef is another issue.  It’s generally inoffensive, but it also has a mild gaminess.  It’s not in your face, but it’s there, and it’s unpleasant.

I can maybe forgive the shoddy flavour of the meat; it’s possible that they got an iffy batch from an otherwise quality supplier.  What I can’t forgive, however?  The cardinal sin of  cheeseburger cookery: the cheese isn’t fully melted.  In my world, that would be a crime punishable by serious jail time.  Get out of here with that.

The Commoner

Then there’s the brioche bun.  I knew it was trouble as soon as I cut into it; it’s dry and dense.  Again, I’ve certainly had worse, but it’s not great.

Everything else was fine, though the Dijon mayo was somewhat overpowering.

The Commoner

It’s not a great burger, sadly.  On the other hand: my dining companion had the huevos rancheros and said it was the best he’s ever had, and the fries that came with the burger were spectacularly delicious.  French fry perfection.  So there’s that, at least.

2 out of 4

Burger Maker

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Burger MakerLocation: 4870 Tomken Road, Mississauga
Website: https://www.facebook.com/Burger-Maker-108408953847438/

Burger Maker is a bit of an odd concept.  Apparently it started out as a place called Sweets House that specialized in kunafe, a very tasty Middle Eastern dessert.

It’s a burger joint now, though the kunafe remains on the menu, and the Sweets House signage can still be seen in the restaurant.

I think it’s safe to say that there aren’t many restaurants in the world that specialize in hamburgers and kunafe, so that’s interesting.  Alas, I didn’t try the kunafe — they only sell it in big, shareable trays that they make to order.

Burger Maker

I did, of course, try a hamburger.

I got the BM Burger (should someone tell them that BM has… other meanings?), which comes topped with pickles, tomato, onion, lettuce, and BM sauce (seriously, someone should say something).

The patty is grilled, which is a nice change of pace, with a decent amount of flavour and texture from the grill.  Its flavour is a bit odd, however — I wouldn’t call it a full-blown meatloaf burger, but it’s definitely spiced with something beyond salt and pepper, and the spicing is mixed right into the meat, giving it a slightly sausage-like texture.

Burger Maker

Thankfully, the spicing isn’t too assertive, but it’s enough to cover up whatever mild beefy flavour that the patty might have had.  It’s not unpleasant to eat, but it tastes muddled — it’s not particularly meatloafy, and it’s not particularly burgery.

The well done patty was also a bit on the dry side, with a texture that’s slightly too finely ground, but it’s basically okay.

Burger Maker

The BM sauce was quite tasty, however, which is good because there was a lot of it.  It’s zingy and a little bit sweet, with a nice roasted garlic flavour.

The bun was slightly oversized for the patty, but it was soft and fresh enough that it was barely an issue.

As for the fries, they weren’t great.  They were overly crispy on the outside and slightly undercooked on the inside.

2.5 out of 4

Top Gun Burgers

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Top Gun BurgersLocation: 5955 Latimer Drive, Mississauga
Website: http://www.topgunburgerto.com/

I’m not sure why it’s taken me so long to check out Top Gun Burgers.  I guess their original Kensington Market location opened shortly after The Burgernator, a nearby burger joint I didn’t care for, and it looked similar enough that I was never particularly motivated to try it.

In the meantime, however, Top Gun Burgers have done well enough to expand to eight locations throughout the GTA, so this review was long overdue.

Top Gun Burgers

Their fighter-plane-inspired menu has over a dozen choices, but I went simple with the Bobcat: “beef patty, fresh onion, lettuce, tomato, pickles and top gun aioli.”

It’s not the best, though it certainly looks impressive.  The smashed and griddled patty (of course it’s smashed and griddled, what else would it be??  There’s no other way to cook a burger, right???) looks great, with a picture-perfect amount of crust from the hot griddle.

Top Gun Burgers

Alas, though it’s certainly not bad, it doesn’t taste quite as good as it looks.

The patty is the biggest issue.  It’s been cooked to well done and beyond, not to mention the fact that it’s a bit too tightly packed.  It’s vaguely juicy, but still dryer than it should be. It all adds up to a patty that’s a bit of a tough chew.

Top Gun Burgers

The burger has a very mild beefy flavour; it’s nice, but not nearly as beefy as you’d like it to be.

The toppings are what you’d expect, other than the Top Gun aioli, which is zippier than the standard burger sauce, with a slightly smoky flavour.

The bun is mostly okay, though it’s a bit too dense.

Top Gun Burgers

As for the fries, they’re absolutely phenomenal.  They’re some of the best fries I’ve had in ages; they’re perfectly crispy and creamy, and the flavour is outstanding.  It’s worth coming here just for them.  Seriously, seriously good.

2.5 out of 4