Smash Kitchen and Bar

10 May

smash
Location
: 4261 Highway 7, Unionville
Websitehttp://www.smashkitchen.com/

The problem with the abundant, booming popularity of hamburgers in this city is that for most restaurants, having a burger on the menu is more of an obligation than an option.  Unless a restaurant is dedicated to a very specific type of cuisine, there’s gonna be a hamburger on the menu.

Remember that scene in Chef where Dustin Hoffman crushes Jon Favreau’s dreams of cooking a personal menu, telling him that he’ll continue to cook what he’s become famous for, and he’ll like it?

I imagine that some variation on that scene plays out every time a chef in a restaurant like Smash Kitchen and Bar decides he has no interest in making a hamburger.

Oh, you don’t want to serve a burger?  Do you still want to be employed tomorrow?

This is all a fairly roundabout way of saying that the burger at Smash feels perfunctory. It feels joyless. It’s not bad; it’s alright.  But it’s clearly made by someone who doesn’t quite understand what makes a good hamburger so special.  By someone who doesn’t really care.

smashA

I ordered the Smash Burger, which is described as being topped with “Cheddar cheese, onion rings, Smash sauce.”

I normally like to mention whether a burger has been griddled or grilled, but honestly, the burger was so middle-of-the-road that  I don’t remember.  Nothing about this hamburger is particularly memorable, other than its in-your-face mediocrity.

It wasn’t horrible, but the patty is vaguely meatloafy and oddly sweet, with a middling, barely-there beefy flavour and a slightly mealy texture.

The condiments were fine and the bun was fine.  The whole thing was fine. It’s certainly not great, but it tastes okay and it basically gets the job done.

It’s clear that the kitchen at this restaurant can put out food that’s better than okay, because the fries were quite good, as were the appetizer and dessert that I tried.  But it’s also clear that they serve a burger not because they want to, but because they have to.

Basically: it’s obligatory.  And it tastes obligatory.

2 out of 4

Smash Kitchen and Bar - the outside Smash Kitchen and Bar - the restaurant Smash Kitchen and Bar - the burger and fries Smash Kitchen and Bar - the burger

3 Responses to “Smash Kitchen and Bar”

  1. Jason Goodis November 28, 2015 at 10:08 am #

    A Smash Burger is a burger that is done on a Griddle! If you really knew about burgers you would know this. As someone who is eating their way through the burger scene, you better have a true understanding of burgers before you review.

    • Jason Goodis November 28, 2015 at 10:11 am #

      Please refer to the following burger spots:

      Stockyards: Smash Burger
      Five Guys: Smash Burger
      Smash Burger: Smash Burger
      Holy Chuck: Smash Burger
      Burgers Priest: Smash Burger
      Bareburger: Smash Burger.

      Smash Burger is the process of flattening a meatball onto the a flatop/griddle. Crystalizing the meat locking in all the fat and juices.

      I appreciate the feedback.

    • Michael Nusair November 28, 2015 at 10:21 am #

      Really?? Is that what a smashed burger is?? Because somehow I’ve gone through over a hundred reviews and made dozens of references to smashed burgers without even knowing what they are! Weird, right? In fact, I’m not even an adult — I’m a three-year-old toddler who’s randomly mashing keys on his keyboard. What a weird coincidence that I’ve somehow managed to bash out all these burger reviews.

      Seriously though: this particularly restaurant isn’t a burger joint — it just happens to be called “Smash Kitchen.” No connection to smashed burgers, so the name is just a coincidence. I’m pretty sure the burger has been pre-formed and not smashed. As for whether it was griddled or grilled, well, that’s the question.

      EDIT: Ha, I didn’t even see your second, somehow even more condescending comment when I wrote this. FYI, I’ve reviewed literally every restaurant you mentioned, and I’m pretty sure I made reference to all of them being smashed.

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